Ok, so I'm a bit hot headed. Just a tad annoyed at the lazy.

Perhaps I'm an overbearing mother....but it's because I care. They should know that. One day -- oh yes -- one day, they will appreciate the fact that I was overbearing because I "protected" them. Will I end up being the mother in the mauve lazyboy watching the game show network calling my daughter for the fifth time just to "check in?" Or maybe just to see where she was all night when I was calling last night? Twelve times. BIG MONEY, NO WHAMMIES.

Hopefully I won't be biting my 16 year old sons "cute little piggies," then. Or feeding him his steak cut into tiny squares to prevent choking.

There's more to me than motherhood.

I do love it.

But there IS more.

Do you have anything in your life that over time has turned into a definition of who you are?

hmmm....

I need to go wash something.

When we lived in Ketchum, my brother and I befriended Mariel Hemingway through a chance encounter with J.Crew clothing catalog.  We had a reputation for being Christians so she naturally verbally assaulted us (all in good, clean fun, of course).   We ran into here and there, but it wasn't until her sister passed away that she brought her personal faith into a conversation.

She walked up to me in front of the Board Bin and said, “I know you don't think I believe in God and all that, but I want you to know.   There is something…I believe there is something out there, and I'm searching.”

I never had a chance to follow up on that as I never ran into her again.

Isn't it interesting?   So many people are out there looking for something to believe in, and the whole time – there is already someone believing in them.

That's part of the deeper Christian struggle, isn't it?   I can believe in God.   That's not much of a leap for most people.  

But -- can I believe I am who He says I am?   Can I do what he says I can do?  

One more giant leap for the journey.

Hello and welcome to your new place! A place to have conversation. A place where your voice will be heard.

Let us start by saying this: it’s time to begin again. Time for us to gather and share with the world our adventures – we want them to know God loves us – all of us. He’s not mad at us for anything, no matter what we've done or where we’re at.

The church is not here to attend to itself. It should exist to serve the world. The down & out, the poor, those that are seeking, and those that are lost. It should be about the forgotten, the loved, the last and the least.

Not about agendas, brand marketing, dogma, doctrines or politics.

God wants to bless the entire world through the church. And we are the caretakers and stewards of this task. When we lose sight of this, the church loses its heart. How can we blame the dark for being dark? We must ask ourselves why the light isn't as bright as it could be.

Marcus and I wanted to start this blog as a place where we could all voice the desires of our hearts. Will you join us?

yes?

Smashing! Let us then continue this journey -- together...

Em & Marcus

Have you ever seen the movie, "Throw Momma From The Train?" In that movie, Billy Crystal is trying to find an illusive beginning to his great novel. I am plagued by similar irritants as I piece together meaning for my life.

For the last few months I have been selling. Telemarketing from a home office should the absolute truth need to be told. I call leads that were either bought or purchased. Some are happy to hear from me and would like to hear what I have to offer. Others are indifferent, obviously a bad day for them or not enough desire for a change in their lives. And finally, the ones that bring great comfort and joy to my little family. Buyers. They want it. They need it. They have to have it. And I am their source.

And then there is my family. Emily, wife of seven years (in a row no less), and two perpetually entertaining and delightful miniatures we call Olivia Mae and Stewart McDougal. Five and Three; although Stewart will pose for two on the off chance that some unsuspecting ticket checker will not charge him, due to his petite-ness in stature, not intellect. Olivia always protests this shame of telling untruth, but Dad is cheap - so its best to keep the children seperated from any price negotiation based solely on age.

So there you have it. In two hundred something words, you have the simplest description of my current life. What I do for a living and for whom I am doing it for. But it hasn't always been this clear cut. For much of my time on earth I have been defined by other standards, whether by self or expectations of others.

You see, it's only been recently that this has dawned on me. And a rather harsh dawning I might add.

I do sales. But that is not who I am.

I have a family. But that also, is not who I am.

Something is out of whack. And unbeknownst to me, it's been that way for quite some time.

If it's okay with you, I'd like to take us on a journey. I think it would be better to tell you the stories rather than the lessons, although they are both good teachers. This could be therapeutic, educational or perhaps informative or even entertaining for some people. But mostly, I'm writing for you. The person who thought there should be more done with your life. The person who had expectations for greatness placed upon them, either from others or self-imposed. In either case, we can learn from each other.

None of us should ever be seen as standard. None of us were meant to be poster children for the others, or idols for public consumption. We are all wonderful individuals with exceptional gifts and courses of purposes.

Crafted to do good things in ways that only we are able to accomplish.

I -- just like you -- am looking for something to define me. Trying to pin some sort of external catalyst that will easily take my existence and characterize it for all the world to see. We would all like to believe, that in the end, others would look back upon our lives in a positive light rather than negative.

My guess is that the "collective we" are still searching. Trying to epitomize our existence with something other than ourselves.

But who we are and what we do should never define us. It's only a temporary label in which to attribute some sort of meaning to why we are here.

We'll talk soon....